The Longest Yard (2005)

9.20.2005
First viewing
DVD (Netflix)
Movie: C+
Audio: B+
Video: B-

I've never been a huge fan of sports movies. Some are enjoyable, to an extent, but I never see any replay value in them. I mean, once I've seen one football game, I've seen them all. There's a few exceptions, but I find this to hold pretty true. In order for me to truly enjoy a sports movie, there has to be a lot more to the story than just the "big game." While The Longest Yard had its moments, ultimately it was all about the finale game.

I've never seen the original 1974 version, but I can't imagine it was any better. I mean, Burt Reynolds was fine as the "old" coach waiting to get back at the guards, but I can't see him as the main character. Besides, it was Adam Sandler and Chris Rock that made The Longest Yard worth watching. The rest of the actors, wrestlers, pro-athletes, and rappers were just extra faces. Nelly showed that even though Ludacris can strut his acting skills in Crash and impress, Nelly shouldn't quit his day job. Basically, while the cast of celebrities was fun to watch, none of them can act their way out of a paper bag.

The Longest Yard's problem is that no part of it stood out in any significant way. I laughed a few times, but I don't remember what I laughed about. The humor was funny but recycled. It's the kind of stuff that better movies rely on as filler. The plot was typical sports movie rehashing. The direction was dripping with style, but too many different styles, all borrowed from other directors. In short, no part of The Longest Yard was original in any way.

The soundtrack caught me off guard. I was fully expecting a rap showcase with the focus on Nelly. What I got was some Nelly, AC/DC, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Crystal Method, and a whole lot that I didn't recognize. Varied, to say the least. For the most part, the music worked. One song after another rolled in the background during the practice and game scenes, and they complimented each other quite well.

Which leads me to the audio track, a nice Dolby Digital mix. The LFE was first thing I noticed, which was expected. With the rock and rap, there's plenty of opportunity to show off your subwoofer. Even with the constant music, the dialogue came through loud and clear. A few discrete effects complete the package. A nice audio presentation indeed. The video looked decent, although edge enhancement was noticeable at times. The detail levels were acceptable, but certainly nothing to write home about. The print looked clean and free of debris, but the picture seemed flat overall. Again, just like the film: the video wasn't bad, but it wasn't all that good either.

If you're a fan of sports movies or football in general, you'll probably get more enjoyment from The Longest Yard than I did. If you're a Sandler fan, don't expect another Happy Gilmore or Billy Madison; this simply isn't Sandler at his best. In the end, The Longest Yard is another rehashed comedy that is just slightly better than mediocre.